Sigh… So tired of saying this. But, yea, again on yet another break from active blogging – this includes writing and reading… 
Too many things are happening on the work front. Trying to take stock of the situation and adjust to it. Nothing bad though.
Along with this, we have functions and poojas at home in Mysore. So, will be busy with helping my parents with that this weekend and next weekend.
Monday i.e. 7th Dec is the auspicious day.
Take care all. I will come by and visit and comment, but a bit late…
And yea, I’m fine too…
God Bless.
Today is also the 1st anniversary, which reminds us of the horrific incidents that took place last year, of the mistakes and the brave hearts.
A tribute to the brave soldiers who died protecting our Nation, Our Mumbai.
Jai Hind and God Bless.
Miss me ok? ok. 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL!
Here’s toasting our friendship with a few lines as to how much you mean to me!
Your friendship has been a constant surprise and every moment has been beautiful.
I am so glad that we are such good friends and that the friendship will just strengthen over time. (TOUCHWODD!)
Your sensibility and sense of balance, grounds me and helps my thoughts from running away!
Your Diplomacy is something that I admire and I have learnt quite a few lessons on that from you! 
I enjoy spending time with you – be it just chatting, sitting around in Crosswords reading books or shopping! Each time has been special and extremely fun!!
Happy Birthday Sweetheart!
May you have many more such awesome birthdays!
May you learn to handle surprises slightly better!
May you always be left with just about half of the entire birthday cake to eat!
May you never have egg in your hair when I come home again! 
Here’s toasting a successful, bright, happy, totally today’s woman, wishing you prosperity and happiness and love!
God Bless you Sweetheart! {{{hugs}}}
Image Courtesy: Google!
What do you wish for, you know generally? Have any of your wishes come true?
No, I am not talking about a great family, husband, kids, health… No.
I am talking about a job, a dress, a car, a date, appreciation, a good grade… ( you get the drift)
Have you wished for something so badly, that when you see it coming true, it scares you badly and you just feel, just for a moment, it doesn’t come true NOW, but sometime later so that you could just hold on to the hope of that wish and work towards making that wish come true?
Wish generally means, a hope or desire for something, to acquire something…
Wish is defined as :
1. to want; desire; long for (usually fol. by an infinitive or a clause): I wish to travel. I wish that it were morning.
2.to desire (a person or thing) to be (as specified): to wish the problem settled.
3.to entertain wishes, favorably or otherwise, for: to wish someone well; to wish someone ill.
4.to bid, as in greeting or leave-taking: to wish someone a good morning.
5.to request or charge: I wish him to come.
Is that how you would define it too?
Is a wish, a hope? Some kind of faith that you hold on to or work towards?
What do you think?
Please do share your thoughts…
Thank you!
Definition courtesy: dictionary.com!
So, again, I’m bothering you folks, my gentle readers with yet another incident!
(Cue: Stop rolling your eyes!!)
I have a friend, Lets call her R. Now, she was working as usual and one other girl from her team walks up to her and says “R you have attitude!”
Now, R was completely surprised, looked up and said “Thanks!” LOL!
She narrated this incident to me and asked me: “Do I have attitude?”
So, I said “Yea! Everybody does! Don’t they?”
So R says, “Maybe she said it in a different way?”
This got me thinking, doesn’t everyone have “attitude”? And of course we all show it off too!
I turned to Wiki to help me out with the definition and this is what Wiki had to say:
“An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for an item. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event– this is often referred to as the attitude object. People can also be conflicted or ambivalent toward an object, meaning that they simultaneously possess both positive and negative attitudes toward the item in question.”
There you go! So, this means, everyone expresses their likes or dislikes right?
And we all usually have conflicting feelings towards incidents, people or things in general!!
Apparently, Attitude changes with the experiences we undergo in life, but Personality remains the same!!
(This was news to me since I had always presumed that with experience, both our attitude and most times our personality changes)
I remember in school too, we had teachers who used to remark: “She has such an attitude!”
I really didn’t understand why they said things like that when, even they had attitudes!!
Now, I think I get the whole deal – It’s said in a slightly negative manner, highlighting the fact that the person in question is quite strong about his/her likes/dislikes and isn’t afraid to show or express the same.
Now, what do you think? And do you think what I say or understand in the last few lines is right?
P.S: definition and details courtesy wiki!
We had Kannada Rajyothsava Day Celebrations yesterday!
And I was completely involved in that
I even helped with the Rangoli drawing before the girls told me to stick to my desk and work and not come back!!! 
But, the whole program was fun! Lots of old Kannada songs and folk songs. Had great fun singing and clapping along.
But, a person I know commented pretty badly about the whole thing.
She said “I am not a Kannad person; so, why participate? This doesn’t concern me”
Another friend, lets call her XYZ, almost blew her fuse!
So, all the slang, comments we actually wanted to tell her, but couldn’t, are being written out here for closure purposes:
- Next, you have made Bangalore your home willingly! So, mingle in and blend in.First thing first – “It’s Kannada and not Kannad” Pronounce the name properly first.
- Just because we are a friendly and tolerant lot, you cannot push us around.
- Comments like “Kannada speaking people” are an inferior lot will not be entertained.
- Comments like “you South Indians look a lot like the servants WE employ at our ancestral homes” will not be tolerated and you could end up getting hurt.
- Learn to respect and live with diverse people. You are an Indian first and please don’t forget that.
- For all work related issues, you approach us “South Indians” for help, so the next time you ask for anything, you will only be laughed at!
- Next time you brag saying “Mr.S thinks I resemble Aishwarya Rai”, remember that she is a “South Indian” that too from Karnataka!!!!
- If you really don’t like it here, then go back to the place wherever you have come from. S/W companies are there everywhere now!!!
My friend said quite a few more things, which will not be put here since it’s a G rated blog!! 
But, these racist comments need to stop, don’t you think? All this talk about “I am superior, just because I belong to so-and-so region” is unwanted and uncalled for.
When you live in a city – whether it’s by choice or not, it’s always better to adopt to and learn about the place you stay in. This helps you, not only to mingle, but also for your happiness.
Each region, state, city and its surroundings in our Country has many positive aspects.
Every place is special and every city awesome in its own way.
Sure, Bangalore has its negative aspects, but what about the positive things?
Is this how you treat your family as well? Don’t all of us have the good with the bad? So, if we can concentrate on the good in our families, can’t we do the same about the city/state we have chosen to live a major part of our lives in?
This is what I feel - Be happy wherever you are; Find out what makes you happy and concentrate on that.
Life is all about taking the bad with the good and dealing with the bad parts with a pinch of salt!
Life goes on, whether we like it or not, so why not try and make the ride a joyful one?
Life is just about right, at this point of time. Sure, there are plenty of issues, petty problems, etc. But, it’s not earth shattering. You know? Most things are manageable and can be handled with a smile.
I also decided that ranting about work has to stop, however trivial my rants maybe. So, I’ve stopped it. Mainly because -
A) I love my job
B) I have also grown a strong liking towards my present company.
Whatever said and done, the problems are not earth shattering and most things, I’m managing pretty decently.
The whining has now officially stopped because however you look at it, it’s not too great and its all fixable! and yea, I like where I work and the people I work with are a decent lot, in majority.
***************************************************************
I received the wedding invitation of a really close friend recently. Just about a year back, she had stopped speaking with me, for reasons, which seem extremely trivial at this point of time. We had been the best of friends, gossip sessions, pep talks, sharing of dreams and goals, ambitions. Our times together have always been fun-filled and memorable. She has been my support and vice versa innumerable number of times. But, for the past one year, we have had this really weird falling out. And when I met her the other day, it looked like I had left her behind and moved on in life. I could feel no connect between the 2 of us, sadly.
I won’t be attending her wedding. I feel guilty of breaking a promise and I feel bad for not going. But, its something which I can’t do right now and I can’t pretend that nothing ever happened.
The sad thing is, I couldn’t pick up from where we had left off…
I will be in touch with her of course. But, more like a “just-a-friend” than close friends.
********************************************************************
Another thing is, actually I forgot what I was supposed to write… 
But, the important thing is Life is going on Good (TOUCHWOOD) and whatever be the problems, issues it’s all solvable and fixable.
Also, I love chocolates, ice cream, a candle light dinner.
(This is irrelevant here, but still)
I love stuffed toys and train sets! Puzzles keep me occupied on hours end and I love good music.
Most of the times, I would have caught the tune faster than the lyrics.
For me, the tune, the drums, the bass guitar have to be in sync.
Also, I love the colour black and I love eating cake.
On second thoughts, I like blue, green and red as well.
I also think marriage as an institution is sacred and its sanctity is to be maintained. I’m old-fashioned in that sense. I also don’t believe in power struggles in a marriage. It always varies depending on the situation and it’s not something that needs to be given too serious a thought.
I look for positive angles everywhere! I am an optimistic person by nature and the pessimistic side rears its ugly head only when I’m extremely, short-sighted-ly mad at things in general.
I also believe that whatever problems we may face, there is always a solution, it’s just that we need to try just about a bit to look for it
For, if God, gave us the problem, he would have also placed the solution close by. We just need to look for it.
Last but not the least – “Happiness is truly a state of mind, The more you chase it, the more elusive it becomes”
Yea, that’s just about it for now. :)
THIS IS SO AWESOME….
I received it as a forward and knew I just had to share it…
Written By Regina Brett, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 44 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”.
26.. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business..
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day.. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
The ones that made the most sense to me, as of today and now, I marked in Red (not that the others don’t or anything, but you know, the ones which I liked the best of the list)
So, which ones did you like the most?
Edited to add: She is apparently 50 yrs old! and not 90 as the forward claims!
My apologies… the fwd was not an intent to create a false impression…
The same has been corrected regarding her age
Gah!!
I’m stuck in office today till 9! 
This is because we had a meeting for 1.5 hrs!!! This made sure all my afternoon got wasted royally!
I wanted to talk about my Mysore trip and the time I spent at home, but that will wait because I am majorly pissed off today!!!!!!!!
So, still slogging at work… and I have so many things to write about… a story as well! So, all that will have to wait till tomorrow…
In the mean time, passing time with just questions:
- Why is it that people expect so much from us and always blame us when something slips up??
- Why is it that its ok for a person to be rude to me, but when they get the same treatment back, for whatever reasons, it’s a big deal?
- How well can an affair be justified?
- When we talk about discrimination, where does one draw the line and say, THIS is discrimination!!
- Why is it that as much as I love going home to Mysore, I equally hate coming back?
- How come that even though it’s been more than 3 months since my sister left, I miss her just the same and it hasn’t lessened in any way?
- Why is it that so many fantastic posts get written when I’m on an unwanted break from blogging because of work??
This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month.
There have been various awesome posts written by Swaram, IHM, Deeps and a truly touching one by Passionate Goof.
Her post was about child abuse. Swaram wrote positively about a friend who made a difference in her life by walking out of such a relationship.
Deeps wrote about the influence of this kind on a young mind…
IHM wrote about domestic violence and its effect in her usual awesome way.
For me, this subject is something I feel strongly about. I have written 2 posts in the past about close friends going thru DV.
This is one post and here is the other
Domestic Violence doesn’t necessarily mean hitting and beating up another person.
Mental abuse or verbal abuse is also violence.
How many times have you seen a relative/friend get abused by her husband/boyfriend?
How many times have you heard a man or woman say – “What do you know? Just shut your mouth!”
Doesn’t that count as violence?
” An abuser always follows up his acts of physical violence with verbal abuse of the worst kind.
Mind games are rampant.
Some verbal abuse is less obvious to the abused party.
It can be so subtle that the woman is unable to identify the intent of the words.
She accepts this judgment that her housekeeping is sloppy, her childcare lax, and she is a hopeless, unappealing drudge.
Her self-esteem slips even lower.” – Source
- An abuser, they say, is basically a coward. His/Her behavioural patterns are generally predictable.
they all go thru the same cycles of - - Uncontrolled temper. Have very short fuses and become immediately angry.
- Have poor coping skills
- Unreasonable and demanding at times
- Give double messages… pendulum swings from loving to abusive
- Deny that the abuse has occurred or make light of a violent episode.
- Blame the victim, other people or outside events for the violent attack.
The victim is always blamed. It’s because SHE didn’t listen, he had to make her understand. It’s because she didn’t “understand” he had to slap her.
Sounds familiar?
An abuser always has Low self-esteem, shame. He is Emotionally volatile and there is always the fear of being “out of control”.
His Inability to respect interpersonal boundaries and his desperate need to be “always in control”
An abuser doesn’t necessarily have to beat up the victim. Verbal abuse, the constant put down and the increasing feeling of ineffectiveness is enough to place the victim in a vulnerable position.
As I did a bit of research for this post, I found horrifying stories about women being battered and tortured for not answering the telephone in a single ring!!
And the most horrifying aspect of an abuser is the person has usually split personalities. Almost Jekyll and Hyde like.
He would seem extremely gentle man who is courteous, helpful and respectful to women outside his home.
As I dug deeper, the stories and pictures got way too graphic, I closed internet browser many a times, to just take a deep breath and to get back to this post.
Its time we woke up and recognised these signs. It’s more important to believe the girl when she shows the signs of being attacked.
The ever relevant question – “how could he?! this doesn’t seem possible! he is such a kind man! maybe she is wrong?” has to be stopped from being asked.
It’s time, parents sat up and did a bit of research before hurrying to marry off their daughters to promising grooms.
It’s time, parents told their child – “This is always home for you. no matter what, the doors to this first home of yours is open.”
The stupid society doesn’t matter, other people’s opinions do not matter.
Here is some more information that I found:
Another frightening aspect is the violence against men! yes! the number of suicides by husbands because of abuse is staggering!
“If the data provided by the National Crime Records Bureau is anything to go by, the number of suicides committed by men in the year 2005 and 2006 stands at a staggering figure of 1,50,000, as compared to 50,000 women. Does this not reflect the sorry state of affairs, Indian men are currently in. Of these 1,50,000, 1,08,000 have been suicides by husbands, which is fairly explainable enough as well, as the government that earns 82 per cent of taxes from these men has washed off its hands from this alarming trend, these men have no protection, voice or say.” – Source.
Scary isn’t it? Stereotyping of men, their behavioural patterns and their need to “not to show” their feelings has made sure the man stays bottled up in an abusive relationship!
How much would YOU believe if your friend, a guy came and told you his wife is abusive?
Men and children get no protection, even though Domestic Violence Act 2005 has a clause about Violence against men and even though we have a hundred laws for violence against children.
It’s your child/friend/relative who is suffering, with a pain that can’t even be imagined or comprehended.
The scars violence and abuse leave behind are enormous and the complications intense.
It’s time we took responsibilities of our daughters and sons and taught them to live kindly and to respect one another.
It’s time we reached out to that friend/relative who asks us for help with their eyes… It’s time we woke up and noticed the irregularities in a friends’ marriage and to put those feelings of “something’s not right” to actual actions.
The awareness starts at home and its high time we started it.
I couldn’t help my friend in any way, but I hope YOU can help a victim. I know the feeling of frustrations I felt when she chose to go back to her abusive husband, when her parents sent her back and when she herself refused help.
Don’t let that happen with you. Don’t give up. I should know, it’s easier said than done, but if we can help at least one poor soul, its worth it.
Say no to violence, to abuse, against anyone – be it men, children or women.
It’s high time we respected both in our society.
It’s true, old thinking can’t be changed… but what about ours? We can change that can’t we? and we can make a difference by teaching our children right.
Say No to Violence! 
Images Courtesy: google and their respective websites.
When I am asked which TV show do I like best, my answer for the past few years has been consistently FRIENDS and Desperate Housewives (DH).
Many other shows come and go from my list.
But, whenever DH is mentioned, I get the snide remark, “Are you one?”
So, the next time someone asks me this stupid question, be ready to get whacked!
It’s not funny and no, it doesn’t even come near borderline funny.
The reason why I enjoy watching the show so much is because all of us have these traits in us.
And no, it’s not gender specific either.
Let me go character by character, and you will realise what I’m talking about.
- Bree: She is a perfectionist, a cleanliness freak and she wants everything done in one way. She has had bad relationships, she has kept family secrets and made sure everything stays under wraps for the sake of family prestige and name and status.
In this season, she is also a very successful business woman who becomes so, in order to fill the void in her.Now, tell me how many people do you know like this??
- Edie: She is the hottie! Even at the age of 40+ she has a drool-worthy figure, perfectly maintained and she is extremely proud of it as well.
Now, tell me how many women and men do YOU know who are like that?
- Gabriele: Now, she was the gorgeous one. Now, with 2 kids and a shapeless figure and no money, she longs for her super-awesome figure, but she also sticks with her husband whom she loves a lot though they have literally no money now.
How many women do you know who long for their super-sexy figure back after having kids??
- Lynette: Now, she is the most common sort. She has a weak husband, naughty kids and she is a brilliant marketing business woman who quits her job to support her husband’s pizza place.
She longs to get back to her super-successful job, but she also knows how intimidated her husband was because of that. - Susan: She is the one who hesitates to let her kids go. Very possessive and extremely obsessive.
A bad house keeper and cook who longs to be like her friend Bree. - Katherine: She sticks with her Friend Bree no matter what, even though she is her “partner” in business and ends up getting the raw deal. She stays because they are friends, who helps Bree get into business and helps her stop drinking and backs her friend at her time of need.
Now, the men are of course eye-candy here, but then again, they aren’t.
Let’s see, how many men do we know who are
A) Jealous of their wives’ success?
B) How many are extremely proud of their wives’ success?
C) How many are separated from the love of their lives just because of
ego/pride/family issues?
D) How many have dark secrets in their closets?
Right. Now tell me, how many times did you nod along, drawing inferences from your real life, of incidents that have happened, of people you know or about yourself, as you read the above lines?
How many of us have kept secrets, however trivial they may seem, from our spouses?
How many have at lease 1 skeleton in their closets which they prefer to keep it hidden?
I will leave it at that.
It’s a show about 6 successful women in their own right. It’s got suspense, drama (not over the top), comedy (subtle), it’s about these 6 gorgeous women who are thick friends, no matter what or who may come or go.
So, it’s also a show about friendship. How 6 women totally different from one another are the best of friends who stand by each other in times of need.
So any more snide remarks of – “Are you one?” need to stop, because whether you are a man, woman or dog, you have some, if not all these qualities/issues in you too!
Welcome to my space!
